How to deal with failure in positive ways

How to deal with failure in positive ways
Posted on 04/02/2019

Sooner or later, your child will experience failure. The way you react to that failure can help shape his character and school success.

To help your child bounce back from setbacks:

  • Remind your child that you love him/her unconditionally. Your love isn’t tied to performance in school.
  • Focus on the positives. Mistakes are actually opportunities for learning. Help your child think about what he/she can learn from these experiences.
  • Praise what you can. “Most of your answers were correct on this test. That’s an improvement.”
  • Be realistic. If you know he/she is doing their best and they still doesn’t bring up a grade, don’t let them think you are disappointed. Instead, focus on creating a plan for improvement.
  • Move on. Don’t dwell on the failure. When parents spend too much time talking about setbacks, children can have a harder time moving on.
  • Don’t argue with your child’s teachers or coaches to try to get them to change a decision or a grade. Your child needs to learn to respect their decisions.
  • Don’t take over. If your child earned a low grade on a writing assignment, talk about ways to improve, but don’t offer to write the next paper for him.
  • Be a role model. Handle your own mistakes and failures in positive ways.
  • Reprinted with permission from the April 2019 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2019 The Parent Institute®, a division of PaperClip Media, Inc. Source: D. Walsh, No: Why Kids–of All Ages–Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It, Free Press.
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